9th of August - I went up north

Me and Halit, we talked on the phone yesterday. I said it is best if I don't come and leave the island without meeting him. He said he wishes I will enjoy my couchsurfing, sarcastically. In about an hour I had crossed the border and I was sitting on a bus to Kyrenia without knowing what to say exactly when we meet. By the time I reached Kyrenia, the last bus to Esentepe was long gone. The sun was already setting so hitchhiking was not an option. I didn't want to ring him that I'm in Girne and don't know what to do. It felt good and necessary for this to be a surprise visit. So I called Efe and got the time for the Korineum bus and I made him promise not to tell about this to Halit. He laughed. What kind of laugh was it, what did it mean? I felt awkward and I had about 3h until the bus. I walked to the harbour, but got tired of the many barmen and cruise-offerers who all needed to chat with me, so I returned to the bus station. As I was sitting there alone, one pakistani guy approached. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, but since I am a polite person I answered his questions and confirmed I am not in need of any kind of help (help he could provide anyways) and smiled when he begged me to become his friend. It was this I-have-nothing-against-you-but-please-PLEASE-leave-me-alone kind of smile. He of course didn't get it and spent those TWO hours there befriending with me although at least 10 of his buses went by. As I mentioned already twice that he could take the bus, he said he needs to be sure that I get mine first. I was thinking 'OMG' when I realized that I am lucky to get on my bus without this dude. Somehow minutes still went by (slowly, believe me, even more so during the last half an hour which the bus was late). At last I was sitting on a familiar bus with a familiar nice old driver. 'Turtle Bay, please,' I told him shyly. 'Turtle Bay?' he seemed surprised. 'Yes, Halit's place, please,' I added. 'Aaah! yes yes!' he said lively and added 'First Korineum, then Turtle Bay'

Efe met me in front of the supermarket and took me to King's Bar where Halit was having dinner.

Now it has been 24h since we met and I am back in Nicosia. Yiannis and I decided to open this bottle of blackcurrant vodka which I brought from Estonia. We are painting under the bridge in Acropoli park again and I am having creativity problems. Where is my talent? Everything I can do looks so pitiful, it all lacks something that says it is my work not anyone else's. Somewhere there is a border, a border of safety zone which I am unable to cross, but without crossing it I can never express what's inside of me. Maybe it's just that I am not supposed to cross it by painting or drawing?