7th of September - Run, free child, run!

When I finally got myself together yesterday and decided to leave the house, Papa explained to me in clear catalan how to get to the train station. So lovely of him. So I went and on the train, the ticket-guy didn’t even notice me, so I got a free ride. Oh, Girona is so lovely! Not too big, not too small. I took a walk on the town wall and enjoyed it so much. I also went and kissed that certain ass of that lioness to be sure to return one day. The jewish district was impressive, too. Why not move to Girona? It is conveniently a ryanair flight distance from Estonia.

In the evening while cooking I found out why Ruso is using couchsurfing. Yeah, as a dating site. That is why he told me he doesn’t host just one-nighters. I said, sorry dude, this is weird for me and he was civilized enough to accept my „no“. The evening was ok, but now that he is at work again I just HAVE to escape. But Papa is out here again. How will I go now with my big backpack when he knows that I should stay some more days?

Papa came to chat again. He spent eternity to explain that if I need anything I should just come and ask him. Then another eternity he used to make sure that I have eaten and that I know where the eggs are. The third eternity he stressed that a week in Barcelona is way too much, three days is quite enough and I should stay with them for more, that he likes it when I’m there. I think he was worried that his 30 year old son hasn’t got a family yet.

Why do you torture me? Don’t you see how uncomfortable I feel when you try to speak with me? I almost burst into tears in the toilet because of one of his another tries to chat with me. The time went by, the trains kept leaving for Barcelona, but the Papa was still there, didn’t even go outside anymore. Just to bring me a watermelon and other goodies. How can I just pick up my bag now and leave? Ok then, I will wait for Ruso and explain to him why I need to go.

It was already seven o’clock and we were still sitting in awkward silence with Paps. Then something in me made me pick up my bag and say „Yo… para Barcelona ahora“ He was quite surprised, but gave me a ride to the station. Damn. I left Ruso a little note why I felt it to be necessary for me to leave. The train ticket was 7.90 and I am sooo short on money. At least I am at Juan’s now and don’t need to worry about sleeping at some stranger’s place for a while. Maybe by one week I have regained my faith in couchsurfing.

7. september - Põgene, vaba laps

Kui ma eile viimaks julguse kokku võtsin ja otsustasin lahkuda, seletas Papa mulle puhtas katalani keeles, kuidas rongijaama minna. Väga armas temast. Ma siis läksin, rongi peal piletikontrolör ei märganudki mind ja sõitsin tasuta Gironasse. Ah, Girona on nii armas! Just paraja suurusega, mitte liiga väike, mitte liiga suur. Jalutasin linnamüüril ja lihtsalt nautisin. Käisin musitasin seda lõvi tagumikku ka, et kunagi siia armsasse kohta tagasi tulla. Juudi kvartal oli ka väga muljetavaldav. Miks mitte siia kolida? Eesti oleks ka vaid umbes 3-tunnise ryanair lennu kaugusel.

Õhtul, kui Rusoga koos süüa tegime, selgus mis põhjusel ta Couchsurfingut kasutab. Mnjah, kohtamisportaalina. Ah sellepärast ta nõudiski, et jääksin rohkem kui üheks ööks. Ütlesin, et sorri duud, minu jaoks on see asi veider ja palusin lõpetada. Õnneks ta oli tsiviliseeritud tüüp ja nõustus, ülejäänud õhtu möödus rahulikult. Praegu on ta tööl ja ma lihtsalt pean põgenema enne kui ta tagasi tuleb. Aga Papa on taas hoovi peal. Kuidas ma niimoodi lähen oma suure kotiga, kui tema arvates peaksin ma veel mõneks päevaks jääma?

Papa käis jälle jutustamas. Terve igaviku seletas, et kui ma midagi vajan, siis ma ainult tulgu ja küsigu. Siis teise igaviku, et kas ma ikka söönud olen ja et munad on endiselt samas kohas akna taga. Ja kolmanda igaviku seletas ta, et nädal aega Barcelonas on liiga palju, kolmest piisab. Et jäägu ma ikka siia, talle väga meeldib, kui siin olen. Arvan, et ta on mures, et tema 30-aastane poeg ikka veel abielus pole.

Miks sa mind piinad? Kuidas sa ei näe, kuivõrd imelikult ma end tunnen, kui sa minuga jutustada üritad? Pidin WC-s peaaegu nutma puhkema Papa järjekordse vestlustunni tõttu. Aeg muudkui läks, rongid Barcelonasse muudkui läksid, aga Papa ei läinud enam isegi õue. Ainult korraks, et mulle arbuusi ja muid aiasaaduseid tuua. Kuidas ma nüüd lihtsalt koti selga võtan ja hastalavista ütlen? Olen vangis. Olgu, ma siis ootan Ruso ära ja seletan talle, miks nimelt ma pean täna lahkuma.

Kell sai seitse ja vahtisime Papaga endiselt tõtt. Miski mu sees lihtsalt sundis mind haarama oma ammu pakitud koti järele ja lausuma „Yo…. para Barcelona ahora“ Üllatunud Papa viskas mind muidugi rongijaama. Damn. Jätsin Rusole väikese kirjakese, et tundsin end ebamugavalt ja pidin lahkuma. Rongipilet maksis 7.90 ja rahaga on niii kitsas. Aga vähemalt olen nüüd Juani juures ja ei pea mõnda aega võõraste inimeste juures magama. Nädala ajaga ehk taastub minu usk couchsurfingusse.

6th of September - The Paps

It’s morning. New place. Some owl is cokooing in the chimney so I can’t sleep. I am somewhere in the middle of nowhere, here are sheep and chicken and who knows what other animals. The guy himself went to work in the morning while I was pretending to be still asleep. Now I have taken a shower and I’m thinking of hitching to Girona or something like that, but someone came by to take care of the animals so now I’m afraid to go outside. Yeah, I’m that kind of a coward. Maybe this person will come inside at one point? But maybe he will just leave?

Now it has happened. „Papa“ came inside.

„Hola! No ablo espanhol!“ I said quickly and pretended to be busy with my backpack, but somehow it still happened that I had to chat with him. It might have lasted for 5 minutes, it probably did, but it felt like forever. It was so awkward! I felt so ashamed that I could not answer to anything he said. Finally he gave in when we had introduced our names, spoke a little about Estonia and about my travel and whether I had breakfast. He pointed out where I can find some eggs. Then he went. Now I am waiting 15 minutes to be sure he is really gone.

About an hour later. He is probably not leaving after all. I guess I have to pass him anyways. But I can’t go when he is doing something right in front of the door and it is impossible to avoid conversation! It is a farm, there’s always something to do!

6. september - Papa

Hommik. Võõras koht. Mingi kull uhuub korstnas, ei saa magada. Olen kuskil pärapõrgus, siin on lambad ja kanad ja kes teab, mis loomad veel. Tüüp ise läks hommikul tööle, teesklesin, et magan. Nüüd käisin pesemas ja mõtlesin, et hääletan Gironasse või midagi sellist, aga keegi tuli loomadega tegelema ja nüüd ma ei julge hoovi peale minna. Vot selline argpüks olengi. Võib-olla see inimene tuleb mingi hetk sisse? Aga ehk ta läheb varsti lihtsalt minema?

No ja see juhtuski. „Papa“ tuli tuppa.

„Hola! No ablo espanhol!“ ruttasin ütlema, aga kuidagi juhtus ikka nii, et olin sunnitud temaga juttu ajama. See võis olla 5 minutit, ilmselt oligi, aga tundus nagu igavik. Hirmus häbi oli, et ei osanud millelegi midagi vastata. Lõpuks andis ta alla, kui olime tutvunud, rääkinud natuke Eestist ja sellest, kui kauaks ma Hispaaniasse jään ja sellest, kas olen hommikust söönud. Papa näitas mulle, kust kanamune saan. Siis ta läks. Nüüd ma ootan igaks juhuks veel 15 minutit, et kindel olla, et ta ikka tõesti läinud on.

Tund aega hiljem. Aga ta vist ei lähegi. Pean vist lihtsalt ise minema. Ma ei saa ju minna, kui ta askeldab täpselt ukse taga? Ja see on farm, siin ei saa iial tööd otsa!

5th of September – It’s my party and I cry if I want to

It’s my third time this year to be at Larnaka airport. It was so exhausting to get here today. First I took a bus from Turtle Bay to Girne and then another one from Girne to Nicosia. Then I had to walk through the old town as usual to get to the other side. I planned to walk some more until I find a lovely cafe to kill some time (the estonian expression is much better – „to measure time“ or „to make time fit“), but somehow I found myself at the Kapnos Airport Shuttle bus station 5 km away. To be fair, I was carrying like 12kg-bag and it was like 50 degrees again. At every cafe I said I’ll step into the next one, but I ran out of cafes. Oh that indecisiveness! At the bus station I had to kill some more time. I took a can of Nestea from the machine and while drinking it i noticed the recycle sign „C“ on it just like we have in Estonia. Wow, they have the same system I began to think until I noticed the word „Säilitusainetevaba“ staring back at me from the can and some labels in estonian, latvian, lithuanian and polish. Polish products taking over the world.

So here I am sitting at a cafe at the airport. I changed my outfit (ok, I put on everything that I could to make the bag fit to the ryanair baggage measurement limit controlling box) I also put on a little make up, which I am obviously regretting, because I think it might be all over my face now. See, did I mention that I have become like 300% more emotional with the past year? Sometimes when we were watching a movie from telly in the summer, I cried but mom did NOT cry – that is unusual.

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you

I wish nothing but the best for you too

Don’t forget me I beg

I remember you said

Sometimes it lasts in love

But sometimes it hurts instead

And that song was all that it took to make the leaving-sadness-tears pour down my cheeks. And it kills me that I do not remember what song it is, cause I want to listen to it forever and just feel bad for myself. Whoever you wrote it – why? Were did you take those words from – my heart? Ok, and just now he called me. So I sit here at the cafe crying. Do you know the kind of crying where it’s a public place and you are doing everything to hide the tears and the sobbing, but deep inside you wish that someone would notice and come to comfort you? And when noone comes you start to pity yourself and cry even more. Ok, maybe I am the only one who is experiencing this. Anyways – the airports are like a carnival arena. But why are all those artists in pairs or groups? Why do they all look so happy? Already I am feeling so lonely. I don’t want to be this pile of misery when I reach my next host in Girona.

Finally it is time to get to the plane. Oh, and i discovered that I left my charger in Turtle Bay and the battery is getting low. This is not cool. Who has a Nokia nowadays in this crazy world of Blackberries and Iphones?