I am in Istanbul now and just like in Riga I have 1.5 hours to spend in the airport. Two flights done, one ahead. Actually it is more comfortable like this, last time when I had two long flights and a long layover in Prague's pointless airport it sucked. Early in the Estonian dawn my brother drove me to the Tallinn airport and he could still not understand why I had to go, where do I get the money and so on.
'There is nothing wrong with traveling, but you shouldn't do it while you are still in schools. Like middleschool, highschool AND university'
And when I explained how this is my last chance to 'get lost' like this for one year as I want to start a family after my Master's studies, he replied:
'Yes, this is all very dramatical, but I still don't see why you have to go. You could just work here in Estonia for this year'
Oh, little brother, will you ever understand me?
Tallinn airport has become very dear to me. Can you imagine, just a year ago I flew to Lisbon from here, just as unsecure as I am now. It was the first time I flew alone and I was terrified of the flight change in Copenhagen (and it was scary) Now I am so used to finding my way in airports that the past me seems ridiculous. Independence level upgrades so fast that it is a bit sad even. There is less room for excitement and adrenalin that comes with new things. I'll be fine no matter what.
I don't care anymore if my seat in the plane is by the window (tho is was for all 3 flights) Ok, maybe I do care a little. Istanbul from the air didn't seem to be this magical place that I've heard so much of that it is in my must-experience cities' list. From up there it was just a desert full of houses. And I couldn't even distinguish the old town. I'm sad that all that I could experience was the airport. So close, but couldn't reach. This time.
In Nicosia. Last flight Istanbul-Ercan was nearly as short as Tallinn-Riga. Seeing Cyprus fromt he air made me feel good and I could recognize the places I had been to. Stepping out from the plane I was taken by incredible heat (just as in Istanbul) though I had changed clothes. I started in Tallinn in jeans and sweater, now I was wearing a dress. In passport control line I met an Iranian guy who had come to the casinos and he offered me a ride to Nicosia. Why not, I thought, since he seemed to be a gentleman. In limousine-taxi they started with their pre-party and I was given several snacks and drinks to take with me before I left. 'No thanks' was not an option. Leaving the taxi I had to walk a lot before making it to the Ledra street 'border' and there was Yiannis, my first CouchSurfing host to take me to his place.
It is about 8pm and I am mourning my sleepingbag which has been lost during the flights. The first night is a bit sad, but I'm hoping it will soon get better. I miss home and feel a bit stupid. It doesn't feel homey at all in here tho it's nice. I should have gone to Roger's where I already felt like home the last time.
Today I have been living in the moment for the whole day, but this moment arrived just now. The arrival moment. Finally I am in it with my body, mind and senses. Talentwise today has not been so productive and I have not yet received any important looking messages either. In the pain sector it is balanced - didn't create new and didn't lose the existing one. I lost something material instead - the sleepingbag - and I am trying not to feel too hurt by it. On a ten-hour trip one can think a lot and I think I managed this pretty well. 'Think less, feel more' <- another goal.
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